i don't reallly know i guess.

takin things as they come. rollin with the punches. i guess this exact method is the most successful way to do so. it's kind of a twisted paradox i'm in. in a way. it could be, i guess. not completely. ok, maybe completely. but who's to know for sure?? if anything was to become a twisted paradox, this for sure would be it. definitely. no doubt about it.

buuuuuut, what to do????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

deeelish

i have found my love and adoration for food is too deep-seeded to let go. Food is something that can bring people together like nothing else can. it is our sustenance, we all must survive, and therefore we all must eat. flavors can excite us or repulse us. cultures are drawn together by their collective knowledge of local ingredients and popular cuisines. I have an absolute love and appreciation for varieties of flavors and staples. I adore how a dish or food item can generate waves of nostalgia, the flavor transporting me into great memories of my past. I am thrilled by the exploration of new dishes and food items I have never tried. I love experimenting with food, seeing what kinds of combinations compliment each other to create something beyond the simple separate flavors that each ingredient possesses. I am intrigued by the effects food has on your body, how fresh ingredients and natural foods gives your whole body and well-being a boost, and how so many people disregard this fact, staying inside of their boxes and devouring unhealthy food items without any realization of the effects on their happiness.
I am going to start creating a cook book (yes, it's a long time coming, but it is a little too difficult when you are busy with school, and at the same time, living in shitty dorms with shitty caf food and no place to stock up on necessary ingredients.) so here i go, starting out by cataloging all of the recipes i have tried, *annotating the successes and the failures* and accumulating recipes that i have a strong desire to attempt. I'm so ready. Iron Chef America Chelsea Schroeder.

higher consciousness

I have discovered a kind of higher consciousness within myself.
although i have always been an incredibly introspective individual, i have attained new insights into how my personality functions. I'm not sure if everyone is like this, but it seems to me that me and my wonderful boyfriend happen to take the sporadic, random flashes of links and similarities between random occurences, and discuss them openly, and all of them just happen to be hilarious!! it's an incredible thing, really. I don't know if other people do the same thing, but it doesn't seem like it to me, because when so many people listen in on our conversations and stories, they just look at us strangely and don't try to comment or anything, many of them just walking away in confusion, or, in the words of mark "you guys are fuckin retarded." there is a new heightened observation of self, others, and how traits work together, etc.
i took this gallup test, and it told me my top five personality traits. they were intellection, connectedness, relator, input, and ideation. yeah, they made up their own words. kinda strange, but i follow. they all have to do with interaction with people. i figured out that relations with people is my highest priority and that i would excell in jobs where ideas and people are involved. this is the same results as the tests i had taken junior year of high school, so i am really starting to believe this fact. it's interesting, the factor i believe in the most and relate to the most is the "ideation" factor of my personality. it says i am likely to get bored quickly doing mundane things at home or at work, so i have to play mind games with myself to keep myself entertained. and i must work in an environment where i get paid for my ideas. i also need plenty of time to read and research, delving into concepts and topics that interest me. i should regularly gather information, and actively memorize and organize all of the information that i gather, to be able to reference and expand upon later. i am a peacemaker, who sees the ways that everyone is connected and relies upon each other, and has an inate intuition to see the bigger picture, which people without this intuition are unable to see no matter how much rational discussion tries to convince them. I need to schedule time for thinking, writing, research, and reflection, and should seek a career in philosophy, psychology, journalism, marketing, public relations, or something of that sort. i can't jump into projects at the execution stage, because my ideas will get in the way of my efforts to execute. i need to help out on projects from the very start.
It is interesting when I figure out other people's needs, and realize how my action is able to affect their productivity, their overall happiness, and the way they treat me, as well. everybody could happen to be a case study for me. this keeps my mind engaged and my connection with people strong. i would rather read about specific things that interest me, instead of stories or fiction. documentary or research status is more stimulating to me than some fantasy world.
*whoo* need a breather!!!!!

c.

poooopy timing

just about to finish up the year
with finals
and already got a count against me.
i'm freakin sick.
eff em el.

all night long *all night*

just wrote another song, thank you dominique berho. amazing how someone's little gifts can reverberate into the future :) the gift of 100 percent. *and he usually was a drain on my gpa :/ ironic*

SEVEN DAYS
and i will be

HALF WAY
THROUGH
F***ING
COLLLLLLLLEGE!!!!

reeeeeeeediculous.
applying for jobs;
looking for an apartment;
prepping for a trip to el salvador;
finals;
birthdays;
friends;
family;
LIFE!!!

i really don't think i've ever been so busy, but y'know what, i'm enjoying it for once *GASP!!* i know!! I have the BEST boyfriend in the WHOLE world, who has changed my life FOREVER, bff, lover, better half, check, check, check. he just turned 22 on the 2nd, old man :P
my photos are coming along pretty well, although after the last class with the famous Jerry Dodrill (of Tom & Jerry), my outlook on this major of mine is looking devastatingly bleek :/ i have to have a 'hunger' apparently. i'm pretty full right now :/ either that or i'm totally empty and i am too tired to do anything about it. yyyeah, probably that one. I'm planning this next year's class schedule a little more strategically. concentrating on my major, and things i truly want in life, is going to be a real focus of mine. i don't feel that promise right now, but i will force myself to feel the hunger. soon enough. i know, life will always be there to keep you 'busy', but this summer will be epic. photos of el salvador, reading seven freakin books in 3 weeks, hanging out in cali with my baby, and *hopefully* making some extra cash.

damn it, gotta go write a paper :/

pees out!!

c.

i flew

yeah, i had the best birthday weekend i could have ever dreamed up.
no. better.

six flags with great friends
cuddled my brains out
playing with puppies
terminator
elephant bar
baked malt ball cookies
played 'find the parking tickets' in the car
kings cup with a crowd
white zinfandel
bruises and scratches and bedsheets
and JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE.

hmmmm. yyyyeah, i'm pretty sure this weekend was inexplicably mind-blowing.
i needed the break. sooo bad. i still can't believe any of it.
all thanks to mr. eric jason silvas, best boyfriend god created :D

"...don't cry child, you've got so much more to live for."

I used to listen to Laura Marling and just let myself weep.

There's absolutely nothing worth weeping over right now, with the exception of the catastrophic level of beauty and harmony that exists in my world right now.

the heavens are pouring down outside this window, and the arches of my feet are hot against the stone hearth of the fireplace I am cozying up with.

this calm before the storm is giving me goosebumps. it brings me chills. i am sitting in such anticipation, as a gruesome, unwarranted fear regularly, spontaneously devours my stomach, as if someone had felt the need to clean out my belly button with a vacuum tube at any point of the day they choose. it's that feeling when you're watching something enormous fall on something really expensive. there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, so you just flinch, gasp, and pray for the least amount of damage.

but most of the time, i'm so happy i couldn't care less :)

shoot me now!!!

i want to do a night shoot SOOO bad!!

just like this.

when the nights get hott, the owls have all the fun.

pee you see.

it's eighty five deeegreeees out.

and it will ALWAYS be impossible for me to get a damn tan. i feel so left out :(

mmmid terms, not super excited. at all.

what am i excited for??
A JOB!!!!
or maybe getting paid for my work. oh gee, wouldn't that be a novel idea?!?!

bicuspid, WE MEET AGAIN!!!

.c

insight and happiness - separate equals. necessary to each other.

If our friend gave us the criticism we give ourselves, we'd kill 'em.

Many people have hated you. For no good reason at all. If you were to ask them, "What's your problem??" the extent of their reasoning could reach all the way to the color of your shirt. Or who you're sitting next to. Or how loud you laughed one time. And that's about it.
Many people have also loved you. For no good reason at all. There have been many times someone has done something selfless for you, and this action has been completely independent of the kind of person you are.
But in the end, what really makes the difference is how much we choose to take these opinions to heart.

Change must be painful. This is a fact of life. Snakes shed skin, people shed tears. This gives way to new methods of dealing with more complicated, more impactful events that are absolutely imminent. inevitable.

Pray for growth. I got through it. Through one step. Can you cultivate patience without hardship?? Absolutely not.

choosing vs reacting

i've been practicing the Goodwill Patterns yet again.
and my prayers saved my sanity.
that revelation came to me once again, the fact that it is possible to be passionate without letting your emotions control you.
it's actually morally wrong [if you're living by god's standards of morals] to let emotions dictate your action. jesus gave us that example. only the person who learns how to live above merely reacting to situations presented to him and make his own decisions based on his will and his wisdom will be able to love, grow, and mature. ONLY with prayer was i able to win that torrential battle between what i felt and what i knew.
there's something called anger, and then there's righeous fury. i really doubt most of us experience righteous fury more often than the first.
of course i know we do plenty of morally wrong things, and i'm by no means anywhere close to the 'pure and true model of righteousness'. i fuck up. we all do. i've finally given up being miserable and chosen to put away my mind-set of feeling terribly sorry for myself, though. being able to forgive, to tell yourself to concentrate on the good in another, this is christ-like. this isn't for the other person. you will stop feeling a compulsion to continually punish the other person, which will uproot that bitterness that's grown inside of you.

"I forgive you for whatever you may have done that caused me pain, intentionally or unintentionally, through your actions, through your words, even through your thoughts, through whatever you did. Through whatever you didn't do. However the pain came to me through you. I forgive you. I forgive you."

it's hard. it takes practice. every fuckin day. but it's for me. it's asking God to forgive me for not coming to Him first. it's asking him to help me forgive myself. it's cultivating a productive spirit instead of feeding sorrow and bitterness, which grows into undeserved anger and resentment. it's letting my heart be at peace. it's truly deciding to move past, move beyond, let down my guard, my walls, and gives me the peace and positivity to be able to love again.

i want to help fill your needs. i want to be an example. i want to 'take better care of my things'.

cuz i'm crazy for you.

c.

my, my, what a break

going all purist again is going to be taxing.

my break was pretty freakin sweet. did lots of things, saw lots of stuff, went to the mountain, played some yahtzee [just realized i've never been required to spell yahtzee before], got a virtual-reailty experience with Grid and my theater system, and got to wake up next to my boy almost every morning. p town missed me so much. i didn't get up to 23rd, but i feel like there's a certain required bank account balance to be able to spend an afternoon wandering the sidewalks there.

so, i have been pondering my future more than usual lately. i've started praying again. not in-depth, just casually. i feel that there's this back-and-forth higher-perspective dialogue missing in my life. after doing some reading and

*god, my teacher's voice is nasaly*

seeing family members (their expectations of me fall thick like a dark, long late-afternoon shadow. just their presence screams their opinions. synonymous) provokes very ominous, and very prevalent, fears of the future. i'm a leech on my parents. i have no choice. if i want to be successful i must prioritize, and i'm not willing to give up pleasures of relationships.

my insecurities have been trumped by my honesty. and the encouragement of those i love and adore have finally sunk in. or, i'm just overly exhausted by anxiety. i'm content, but i'm still doing these things for myself.

i would slit a throat for a fucking americano.

i need to be willing to follow my dreams. my mother said, "before you settle down, make sure you do all the things you want to do. you'll always regret it, otherwise." now i'm scared to. now i have something to lose. i've finally stopped running from shit storm after shit storm and i'm scared that the temporary migration will shatter what i've gained. yet....
i'm still bored. no, not taking this amazing location and these people i love for granted, no, just feeling pretty pointless and unimpactful. i hate the leech. yet i thrive off it. it's another addiction.

maybe i'm not sleep-deprived. maybe i'm just burned the fuck out. i don't know.
i've stopped wanting to be 'all of you' little girls. i'm happy being a woman. and have a feverish desire to cultivate that. it's completely necessary for this growth to continue, since this is what i'm all about, as a woman. i just want to SCREAM at the fact that i don't have enough time to work on my character. this bubble rusts my intellect. the mundane rots my higher inspiration. i want to go to church again. a great church. one better than the best i've ever been to. there's nothing like that that i've found. at GFox, you could talk to five different people and they'd be glad to tell you about a dozen different churches in the area that they've been to and give you directions to them and invite you to go with them to theirs on sunday. "umm, i go to PUC church sometimes to dress up..." that's about all you'll find here. it's so disappointing.
and at the same time, i want summer clothes!!
once again. my vice.
i wished to go to morocco. then i realized it was a muslim country and i would be treated worse than cattle. moo.
my tattoo will be inspired. :] i'm anxious!!

cuuuuuuute :)

this is gonna be a record of my great spring break :) it's on its way!!


all nighter here I come!!!!!! nervousness about these tests start to take control!!

i savor every piece of you.

When time belongs to us, when the world opens its big oyster shell, when all we see is the road in front of us, chasing down the sun setting in our horizon, our fingers laced together in bravery, picking up the pieces along the way that puts light back in our souls...

this is when i'll know we've made something of ourselves. this is when i'll know we've found a couple answers to our questions, which beckon dozens more. this is when i'll know i'm doing something right, something my way. this is when i'll burst my seams and shed my skin and rub my flesh raw against yours just to have a hidden scar that will represent the many ways you healed me.

i still love this trail we're blazin'.

;)

don't worry, the train whil be coming soon.

sights and sensations and sounds and bodily reactions continue to evolve and be distorted. the sensation of reality is put into a time-warp, slowing down perception. everyday objects take on a completely new form. skin is transparent. rubber is texturized and solidified as it boils into magma. glass ripples like sound waves as the inherent energy between the atoms and molecules that it is composed of is now able to be sensed through sight. inanimate objects speak in tongues, and are perfectly understood. you are driven to catalog these brand-new feelings.

WTF?!?!?!?!

you put the coach in my ella.

lookit this sexy-ass lineup - - -

Friday, April 17th	Saturday, April 18th	Sunday, April 19th
A Place To Bury Strangers Alberta Cross Bajofondo Beirut Buraka Som Sistema Cage the Elephant Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band Craze and Klever Crystal Castles Dear and the Headlights Felix da Housecat Franz Ferdinand Genghis Tron Ghostland Observatory Girl Talk Gui Boratto Leonard Cohen Los Campesinos! M. Ward Molotov Morrissey N.A.S.A. Noah and the Whale Patton & Rahzel Paul McCartney Peanut Butter Wolf People Under the Stairs Ryan Bingham Silversun Pickups Steve Aoki Switch The Crystal Method The Aggrolites The Airborne Toxic Event The Black Keys The Bug The Courteeners The Hold Steady The Presets The Ting Tings We Are Scientists White Lies	Amanda Palmer Amy Winehouse Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti Atmosphere Band Of Horses Billy Talent Blitzen Trapper Bob Mould Band Booker T Calexico Cloud Cult Crookers Dr. Dog Drive By Truckers Drop The Lime Electric Touch Fleet Foxes Gang Gang Dance Glass Candy Glasvegas Henry Rollins - spoken word Hercules and Love Affair Ida Maria James Morrison Jenny Lewis Liars Junior Boys Mastodon Michael Franti & Spearhead MSTRKRFT Surkin. Para One (Live) Superchunk The Bloody Beetroots The Killers Thenewno2 Thievery Corporation Tinariwen TRV$DJ-AM Turbonegro TV On The Radio Zane Lowe Zizek Club	Antony and the Johnsons Brian Jonestown Massacre Christopher Lawrence Clipse Friendly Fires Fucked Up Groove Armada (DJ Set) K'naan Late of the Pier Lupe Fiasco Lykke Li M.A.N.D.Y. Marshall Barnes Mexican Institute of Sound My Bloody Valentine No Age Okkervil River Paolo Nutini Paul Weller Perry Farrell Peter Bjorn and John Public Enemy Roni Size Reprazent Sebastien Tellier Shepard Fairey Supermayer The Cure The Gaslight Anthem The Horrors The Kills The Knux The Night Marchers Themselves Throbbing Gristle Vivian Girls X Yeah Yeah Yeah's

$270. plus airfare. plus camping. slit my wrists.

funniest 19 seconds of the week.

*besides "ohh mah, OHHHH MANNN!! OOHHHH MAAAANNN!!!"

upset.

there's just some things that people don't let come into view for all to witness and voice their opinion on. there's some things in our past that we don't care to repeat. there's just some things that are a part of us, that don't go away, that we can't let go of, that we can't let discontinue. you could call it a problem; it would only be a problem if you did it. but since i do it, it's called a part of me. that's what it is. that's what makes me happy. not just happy, but able to function.

i can't function.
i hate this.
and i have to have it back.
there's no excuses for myself.
i have to get it back.

i will be who i must be.
there's nothing that can stop me.
i must be happy.

this hurts.
miserably.

give me life.
i'm exhausted.

- - -

smother those preoccupations
blinding me through each soft curve
every definition
each streamlined ideal bit and piece
breezing by unconsciously.
they tell me things.
cataloged in just two piles
'don't be this' and 'better than',
they say 'work harder, harder!!
you are not there yet!!'
those piles
sit in your head too
i can feel them growing.
they are so heavy.
i'm so heavy.
turn up the heat, and i'll keep running.

.c

lovely.

[[[genuine....]]]

valentine.

a single rose. breakfast in bed. a kiss.
surprise, lovely :)

my body feels so strange. i feel incredibly empty. it's frustrating. i just started a new medication and i'm fearing that's the cause. it's a week in and i'm thinking it's either that or i'm ill or something. it's strange. i just don't want to do anything. and it's rare when it gets super exciting. and i don't like the sound of my own voice. you know when you're sick of hearing yourself talk?? it comes in spades every once in a while, doesn't it?? i don't know. i feel like sleeping all the time but when i lie down i'm just awake. it's heavy to breathe.

being rewarded for hard work is good. the determination is draining i guess. such is life. yes??

something sucked out my passion. where did it go??
lets find it again.

you're so many things.

it's cheesy and gross and ridiculous.
so i know you'll like it :D
cuz we both know how silly we are, all twitterpated and ridiculous.
but it's fun, and that's why we know it's okay!!
my lover.
my friend.


....all-nighter again!! my dad's baking chocolate chip cookies and my mom's bringin home the bacon, and it's cute how we're all coming up with creative ways to rise above our challenged lifestyles. we're doing things ourselves, as much as we can. we're doing things that really make us happy, minus money, minus all these other distractions that surround us, minus all the trivial, materialistic whatevers that we clog our days with.

god, i'm HAPPY.
really, really, really happy.

dear lord, thank you. no, seriously, jesus, thank you. thank you for giving us love, that little piece of.... well, the only piece of anything that really matters. ever.
people are IT.
:)

let me find me.
as i try to find you.
hold my hand.
find the path with me.
keep loving me.
keep making me ache and long for whatever it is that will stir up my desires to make something great of myself.
because i know for a fact that you've made me for something pretty freakin sweet.
and now i know that you know exactly what i need to make me really, truly happy.
and that's not anything of this earth.
thank you, dear jesus.

don't be scared.

it's you. and me. it's whatever we want it to be :) you make me happy. and i make you happy. and that's all we need.

we all need somebody to lean on.

i'll make sure not to lean on your right shoulder, though ;)

c.

missunderstood.

i feel that every chance i can get i would like to explain myself, at least when i understand my own actions. i feel that with proper communication and balance, anything is achievable. yes?? am i wrong?? it's just my hypothesis. it could be bullshit. but, to just have a good time, sit back, relax, and know that you're gonna be okay is one of the hardest things for people to do nowadays. they all need some mental aid. they all need to alleviate that stress somehow. the question is; is your way healthy?? is it productive or unproductive?? adaptive or maladaptive?? of course i care. of course i want you in my life. more than i'll ever show, ever. that's just the way i am. but, it's fact. i know more of you than people can say, and i understand you as well as you've let me. you must know this as a fact. if not, i need to work on that. because people are more important than anything else in this world. that's a truth i've been suppressing. it's going against my heart, and it's hurting me. and hurting you. it's just another task to undertake. lets get started.

c.

there's no formula.

yeah, i'm kind of the queen of 'alone time'. i feel very "me" when it's just me, and i guess that's the way it's always gonna be. i know a lot of things, even though i haven't done all of them. i know things have their own season, and this seems to be the season of 'this is kinda starting to suck'. i'm just starting to see that these things aren't really 'me'. my heart has betrayed me so many times, and i wish this wasn't one of those times. timing just sucks. sucks freakin balls. but maybe the roller coaster is finally coming to a stop. maybe reality isn't all it's cracked up to be. i keep saying i've come a long way, but really, how far have i come?? yeah, i've gone through some shit, but have i changed my actions, my decision-making skills?? or have i just felt and seen and scared myself into a corner?? cuz that's what i'm starting to feel like. scared into a little corner all by myself, walking away from the big risks. once again. sitting in my goddamn box. alone. but 'okay'. am i letting go of something awesome, or something fake?? this whole fucking thing is a joke, and i'm sick of it!!!!

or maybe this is just a bad week. again. good and bad, up and down. can i get a balance??

but honey, remember how bored you are with balance?? with repetition??
fuck. what. the. fuck. UGH!!

things are good. things are bad.

i eat a box of chocolates. my body is euphoric.
i take a multi vitamin. i toss my organs all around the room out my mouth. or, feel like doing so.

it's not necessarily the time that counts - it's the effort. it's the mind. it's that power.
you get out of it what you put into it. sometimes you run out of fuel. sometimes you know what you want and you just have to force yourself to get it, because it's worth the delayed gratification. i haven't even gone a week with that effort put in, and i'm already out of fuel.
you are what you repeatedly do. what do i want to repeatedly do??

health
intelligence
love
creativity
independence

abstinence
discipline
denial of self
suppress influences
responsibility

give and take. it must be worth it. it must be. just to get there would make me proud.

NEVER forget this.

a HUGE epitomy I had today. something that I will forever thank God and my parents for. The way to freakin raise your children is, when something comes up, even the tiniest issue, when it's time for a punishment or an explanation, explain ALL sides, don't blame the child, don't point the finger, make sure everyone's viewpoint is addressed, make sure everyone understands the situation and everything is told in a fair and just manner. I believe this is one of the biggest shapers of my whole outlook on life. this is one of those 'somethings' that i will never, ever, ever forget about, something that has catapulted me into being the person I am today, a person I'm proud of being. this is SUCH an important idea, such an important, yet simple and easy to apply task. calmly address every point, every angle, explain why the punishment or issue is being brought up, brought out, or addressed, and cut the problem off at the root, don't just discourage the effect of the cause. figure it out. solve it. put effort in. put love in. do it like you fuckin mean it. like it's the way it's supposed to be. like you really care.

i love you, mom and dad. thank you for creating an independent-thinking person, not just making me cuz you were bored and needed something to talk about or fill a void. i hope i make you proud. i hope i do you justice.
i will never be able to repay them. they love me more than anyone else will ever be able to. and i'm so proud of them. i hope they know how beautiful they are... and how beautiful you are, too.

wow. it's, umm, chilling.

someone you spent a very large portion of your life with finally catches back up with you. you see a startling pattern showing through your actions, your choices, the people you connect with, associate with, desire to be around. do we all have addictive personalities?? do we all have some sort of obsession, some sort of serious, crippling, life-sucking wrench on our backs?? it's scary for me to believe that it's just people, that it's just how we are. self-destruct in t-minus five years. pray to GOD that it's not going to be that way. this person that i loved is still out there, but they aren't living. it makes me shrivel inside thinking about them, seeing what is left, what they've become in a few years time. what do i have to do to stay above the depths?? it feels like all i see is people struggling to tread water. but that's not how it is, is it?? pray to GOD i won't end up like them. pray to GOD i keep my heart on lock. i've already done plenty of things to myself i wish upon no one to have to go through. and i'm scared it's happening again, because i got bored with the lack of intensity that characterized my monotonous life. i'm praying i didn't fuck up, this one last time. please, GOD, let me be one of the lucky ones. help me get out of this intact. help me. help him. help them. help us.

i feel new; the old new

i remember this feeling, resembling when my head was all mine, not full to the brim of another.
it's freeing, independence, confidence in my own tactile sensations.
the old can feel fresh and clean again.
fine, light, above and surpassing.
like a whisp
like the transparent fingers of angels tossing my hair around in the last few minutes of falling sunlight.

c.

skip to my lou

it's been a little while.

*blip*
*ripp*

that's the end!!
yeah, i'm pretty proud of myself. i got out of it alive and kicking. and made the decision myself. it could only work with someone as good as him. but, that's how it should be. we'll see what happens in the future.

i've been culturally drained now that i am financially drained. i kind of like it though, it makes me more socially available. yet, it is going to be hell come the end of this month. i'm almost at a two on my ears. i have to buy some incredible tunnels. sixty dollars. worth it?? yes.

i'm about to borrow from my pharmacy. ready??

i forgot to remind you
when you told me to.
sorry
i tried to forget that you care

i felt your soft kisses
that couldn't be faked.
so sweet
you caught me just so unaware




------

"Now for the evidence," said the King, "and then the sentence."
"No!" said the Queen, "first the sentence, and then the evidence!"
"Nonsense!" cried Alice, so loudly that everybody jumped, "the idea of having the sentence first!"

c.