i don't reallly know i guess.

takin things as they come. rollin with the punches. i guess this exact method is the most successful way to do so. it's kind of a twisted paradox i'm in. in a way. it could be, i guess. not completely. ok, maybe completely. but who's to know for sure?? if anything was to become a twisted paradox, this for sure would be it. definitely. no doubt about it.

buuuuuut, what to do????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

deeelish

i have found my love and adoration for food is too deep-seeded to let go. Food is something that can bring people together like nothing else can. it is our sustenance, we all must survive, and therefore we all must eat. flavors can excite us or repulse us. cultures are drawn together by their collective knowledge of local ingredients and popular cuisines. I have an absolute love and appreciation for varieties of flavors and staples. I adore how a dish or food item can generate waves of nostalgia, the flavor transporting me into great memories of my past. I am thrilled by the exploration of new dishes and food items I have never tried. I love experimenting with food, seeing what kinds of combinations compliment each other to create something beyond the simple separate flavors that each ingredient possesses. I am intrigued by the effects food has on your body, how fresh ingredients and natural foods gives your whole body and well-being a boost, and how so many people disregard this fact, staying inside of their boxes and devouring unhealthy food items without any realization of the effects on their happiness.
I am going to start creating a cook book (yes, it's a long time coming, but it is a little too difficult when you are busy with school, and at the same time, living in shitty dorms with shitty caf food and no place to stock up on necessary ingredients.) so here i go, starting out by cataloging all of the recipes i have tried, *annotating the successes and the failures* and accumulating recipes that i have a strong desire to attempt. I'm so ready. Iron Chef America Chelsea Schroeder.

higher consciousness

I have discovered a kind of higher consciousness within myself.
although i have always been an incredibly introspective individual, i have attained new insights into how my personality functions. I'm not sure if everyone is like this, but it seems to me that me and my wonderful boyfriend happen to take the sporadic, random flashes of links and similarities between random occurences, and discuss them openly, and all of them just happen to be hilarious!! it's an incredible thing, really. I don't know if other people do the same thing, but it doesn't seem like it to me, because when so many people listen in on our conversations and stories, they just look at us strangely and don't try to comment or anything, many of them just walking away in confusion, or, in the words of mark "you guys are fuckin retarded." there is a new heightened observation of self, others, and how traits work together, etc.
i took this gallup test, and it told me my top five personality traits. they were intellection, connectedness, relator, input, and ideation. yeah, they made up their own words. kinda strange, but i follow. they all have to do with interaction with people. i figured out that relations with people is my highest priority and that i would excell in jobs where ideas and people are involved. this is the same results as the tests i had taken junior year of high school, so i am really starting to believe this fact. it's interesting, the factor i believe in the most and relate to the most is the "ideation" factor of my personality. it says i am likely to get bored quickly doing mundane things at home or at work, so i have to play mind games with myself to keep myself entertained. and i must work in an environment where i get paid for my ideas. i also need plenty of time to read and research, delving into concepts and topics that interest me. i should regularly gather information, and actively memorize and organize all of the information that i gather, to be able to reference and expand upon later. i am a peacemaker, who sees the ways that everyone is connected and relies upon each other, and has an inate intuition to see the bigger picture, which people without this intuition are unable to see no matter how much rational discussion tries to convince them. I need to schedule time for thinking, writing, research, and reflection, and should seek a career in philosophy, psychology, journalism, marketing, public relations, or something of that sort. i can't jump into projects at the execution stage, because my ideas will get in the way of my efforts to execute. i need to help out on projects from the very start.
It is interesting when I figure out other people's needs, and realize how my action is able to affect their productivity, their overall happiness, and the way they treat me, as well. everybody could happen to be a case study for me. this keeps my mind engaged and my connection with people strong. i would rather read about specific things that interest me, instead of stories or fiction. documentary or research status is more stimulating to me than some fantasy world.
*whoo* need a breather!!!!!

c.

poooopy timing

just about to finish up the year
with finals
and already got a count against me.
i'm freakin sick.
eff em el.

all night long *all night*

just wrote another song, thank you dominique berho. amazing how someone's little gifts can reverberate into the future :) the gift of 100 percent. *and he usually was a drain on my gpa :/ ironic*

SEVEN DAYS
and i will be

HALF WAY
THROUGH
F***ING
COLLLLLLLLEGE!!!!

reeeeeeeediculous.
applying for jobs;
looking for an apartment;
prepping for a trip to el salvador;
finals;
birthdays;
friends;
family;
LIFE!!!

i really don't think i've ever been so busy, but y'know what, i'm enjoying it for once *GASP!!* i know!! I have the BEST boyfriend in the WHOLE world, who has changed my life FOREVER, bff, lover, better half, check, check, check. he just turned 22 on the 2nd, old man :P
my photos are coming along pretty well, although after the last class with the famous Jerry Dodrill (of Tom & Jerry), my outlook on this major of mine is looking devastatingly bleek :/ i have to have a 'hunger' apparently. i'm pretty full right now :/ either that or i'm totally empty and i am too tired to do anything about it. yyyeah, probably that one. I'm planning this next year's class schedule a little more strategically. concentrating on my major, and things i truly want in life, is going to be a real focus of mine. i don't feel that promise right now, but i will force myself to feel the hunger. soon enough. i know, life will always be there to keep you 'busy', but this summer will be epic. photos of el salvador, reading seven freakin books in 3 weeks, hanging out in cali with my baby, and *hopefully* making some extra cash.

damn it, gotta go write a paper :/

pees out!!

c.